Over the last number of months and years I have asked myself ,why do people react so badly to honesty?Why do we become so defensive?What is it in our make up that makes us shut down and back into a corner from which we have difficulty removing ourselves from.What is in our hard wiring that makes us defensive as a default position.
Over the last two years Ireland has been moving into a terrible recession, the worst economic outlook in the history of this young country.We have been assailed by doom and gloom from all angles.Some of this has been right on the money and some has been outrageous spin on behalf of other vested interests.During this time we have people blaming everybody else for their woes and not taking responsibility for their own current reality.
We now have the unions promoting strike action by the public sector and we have the banks admitting that they have more problems than first feared.Are we in trouble, yes.Will blaming other people sort out the difficulties over the next two/three years,no.Will facing up to the difficulties and looking to change the current reality help,yes.
I have written before about the current economic situation in which Ireland finds its self due to the rank poor management of the Government over the last six/seven years in particular.During this time Bertie Ahern the leader of the country decided that economics was for somebody else but did not apply to us.We were different and guess what,we believed him.Why else would the unions agree to the incredible increases in the public sector pay?Why else would we as a voting public re-elect Fainna Fail into power for three elections?
Bertie’s Government threw money around like snuff at a wake and we all accepted this money as if it was never going to stop.Be that the children’s allowance or the old age pension, the wage increases in the public sector and the low tax rates.This has all now come back to haunt us and we want to blame everybody but ourselves for our greed.We bought second and third houses, took two and three holidays and drove up to date registration cars.We lived to good life and could never see it ending.Well OMG has it come back to bite us on the ass.
Working with people who are in distress due to this recession is difficult as you can see and hear the stress and pressure they are under in their daily lives.The anger is palpable, but the anger is miss directed as it will only eat you up and make you very miserable in yourself and will not help to solve your problems and move you forward in you current reality.
Some people quite rightly point out to me they did not part take in any of the extravagance and still ended up out of work and under financial pressure.I feel huge empathy with these people because nobody deserves to have this happen to them but what will help to sort this situation out.Feeling sorry for themselves and blaming others or channeling that frustration into getting back on the bike and generating momentum in an effort to improve their current reality?
This is where my title for todays blog comes in.We are upset when we are confronted with the issues and the honest answers are usually very painful. When we are removed from our comfort zone and all the barriers that we have constructed around us to deal with the current reality are removed we feel exposed and vunerable.Honesty is not easy or sometimes it is not nice because you have to confront the situation that you have being avoiding.All the unpleasant parts of your life have to be examined.Some people are happier to continue along with their life without ever facing up to reality and that is their choice, but if you want to progress it is my opinion that that is an unrealistic way to live your life.
If we are to be honest with ourselves and deal with our lifes in a progressive and enlightened manner we will reap the rewards with a better quality of life and more satisfaction with the direction our life is taking.
If any of the above is of interest to you and you think coaching would be of benefit to you, please contact myself or any Coach in your area.We would be delighted to part in your journey.