What are judgements and how do they affect us and our everyday lives.
Judgements are other peoples opinions of us, these opinions are freely given even if we would prefer if they weren’t.Now silly judgements really do not matter i.e. your hair is a sight or you could do better, you know the stuff annoying but not very damaging.Unlike you have put on weight or from a teacher, you are stupid.These comments coming from people who you look up to can be devastating for people as we can take them very much to heart.
Judgements can do untolled damage to a young person if the words come from key people in our lives.Comments about weight,appearance,intellect and ability can all be picked up and taken by somebody and used for years to judge themselves even though the judgement was somebody else’s and they could have it forgotten a day later, and the comment could have had no basis in fact.
An example is a grandmothers throw away comment to her young grand-daughter that she has put on weight, getting a little pudgy.This comment in its self is not said nastily but has a profound effect and the child could end up with an eating dis-order.This was not the grandmothers intent but the child decides in her own mind subconsciously that gran must be right and the trouble starts.The granmothers judgement is the comment and the child carries it into adulthood and beyond.
A teenager is struggling in school and some of his peers start to slag him off and mock him for his inability to keep up in class.Again he is told that he is stupid, again this may be light-hearted stuff on be half of the class mates, but something click’s inside the teenager and he carries this judgement into adulthood.To him he is stupid and could not hold down a good job or to go the further education.
These two examples are just that, examples and really there is a myriad of judgements that people pick up on and run with.These are carried sometimes for years and our ego, id, voice, gremlin, never let’s us forget.”Who do you think you are.” We have all heard it inside our heads at one time or another.These judgements we carry around are thrown at us by the voice when we are getting above ourselves.”Your asre is huge in that dress, your gran was right you are a little fatty”.” what are you doing enrolling in a night course sure your thick, you will only make a fool of yourself”.
Our ego is always trying to control who and what we are.It will not allow us to make decisions that might affect its say in our life and how we choose to lead it. This is fear taking over our life and it will only lead to trouble. This trouble can manifest itself in many ways.The bottom line is the judgements that we are using to hold ourself back are doing untolled damage to our self esteem.This in turn leads to problems in the coming years and this can manifest itself in many ways.Relationship difficulties, substance abuse these issues will stop us from enjoying life as we were ment to.We may feel that we are not allowed to enjoy our life but that is not how things started out.We all start equal and what happens over the first number of years will dictate how we live the rest of our years.
The way we carry these judgements can really damage our life and stop us from living the best life we can.The best life is our entitlement and we have to let go of the judgements so we can live it. Remember judgements are from other people and there can be as many positive as negative if we only listen for them.A very human trait is to pick up on the negative and ignore the positive, but if we can shed the negative judgements we will be a much happier and a better person for it.Also if it dawns on us that these judgements are other peoples opinions and not facts it would make things a lot easier alround.