While re-reading Tim Gallways the Inner Game of Golf on Sunday morning, due to the snow outside which meant I could not Golf.It struck me how much the book is really as much about life as it is about the game of Golf.In this book Gallway attempts to learn to play Golf from the begging, using his principles from his book the Inner Game of Tennis, a best-selling book from years earlier.
One of the many things that jumped out of the page to hit me was a statement his friend made about change.That if we are confronted by change we tense up.This in golf is a problem as it will mean you can not play golf very effectively, the same can be said of Life.When confronted with change we get tense, we freeze because it is a natural inbuilt reaction.Some of us might try to deny this but watch yourself the next time a see what happens.If you are to honest the smallest change will make you as a reflex to tense up.
Some people will at this point will embrace the challenge and move on others will back away and not attempt to solve the problem hoping others will take responsibility.This is a natural if not satisfactory outcome as this failure to embrace the change will in fact lead to a lethargy and a feeling of frustration building within that person.Some times the person will not even be aware of the frustration and will deny it’s existence.They will deny this to themselves and everybody else but it leaves a stain on your soul.As more and more of the challenges come up and are declined more and more stains build up on the person’s soul.
This will lead to behavioural problems and people making life decisions that are not in their best interest.Relationship difficulties and substance abuse can also follow-on as we lose our respect for ourselves.This is again on a subconscious level.This is a very insidious thing it is not something that we are aware of and as it builds up over the years it will lead to all sorts of difficulties for us. When it finally does emerge it will either as a health issue or as mentioned earlier an addiction of some form.
You may be thinking this is some jump from a book on the vagaries of the mind affecting your golf game. It is not, golf has long been associated with life as it expose’s you faults for all to see.Most importantly you learn so much about yourself as you are consistently challenged to improve or accept failure.As you shrink further back from life and all it has to offer you will become more and more bitter towards life, because life did not deliver what you wanted from it.Instead of you going out and getting what you wanted from life.
We have all met the older and younger people who have that bitter attitude to life and have nothing good to say about it.This bitterness is actually an outward reflection of the inside as these people are blaming everybody else for their own failures, and the more bitter the bigger the failure.When you see people completely over reacting to a situation it is really their own internalized frustration boiling over.
Can all this be avoided, can all this useless waste of a life be stopped,YES, of course it can and it does not take much effort on any-bodies part either.We have all witnessed the last twelve to eighteen months in Ireland,BLAME,BLAME and more BLAME.In extrodinary times we have all seen ordinary people doing great things.If we accept the current reality and move forward from here we would all be much happier.We can not wait for a good place to start as this is just putting off the starting point.As people embrace change our self-esteem will rise and we will feel that our lives are better than we first thought.
You may wonder how I know so much about the topic.Well I was that person with the addiction and the relationship issue’s.As I had been spinning my wheels doing something I hated and for years and I had supressed my own life.The bitterness was taking over and I was in danger of losing the main people in my life.Why had this happened, because I had a number of kicks in life and I let them get on top of me.I took other people’s opinion of me and decided that they must know more about me than I did and that they were right.Well of course they did not and it took me undertaking a journey of growth and development that I am now five years into and things are getting better every day.
So I am not lecturing from books or theory it is a lived in experience.As I grow I am more and more aware of people’s struggle and I hope these article’s are of some use to people.I am now a qualified Personal and Executive Coach and this is all part of the journey.As I can now see so much going on about me the reaction of people when a gently point out these issues it is amazing to watch the various reaction levels,passive to aggressive.
We have to embrace Change and not tense up, if we do tense we have to be aware of it and accept the challenge and grow with the experience