I wrote on Twitter this morning that the Country would benefit from Interdependence.A lot of people would not understand this concept but it is quite simple.Interdependence is everybody living THEIR lives for themselves but not in a selfish way,but as part of a whole unit.One of the main problems that occurs in life is that we all begin to lose our identity as we get older.This due to life’s demands, i.e. kids, job,mortgage and so on.We all see this but feel we can not control it.This is not the fact.
We are naturally afraid to be on our own.We are pack animals and want to be part of a larger group, but most of the time we get subsumed into this group and lose ourselves.Irish mothers a the biggest group guilty of this behaviour.To explain this I would remind you of the policy on airplanes, when they say that if the oxygen mask falls please put on your own mask first before dealing with other people.Hands up all the people that would attempt to put on their children’s mask first.This of course puts both the child and the adults life at risk as if the parent struggles with the childs mask and runs out of oxygen and passes out the child will have nobody to help them and both could die.
This is interdependence, we have to put ourselves first and because we are stronger and more at peace with ourselves then we are better people to the people around us.We trust each other and ourselves to be able to complete our day and daily chores without interfering with what they are undertaking and keeping our helpful comments to ourselves.These comments are usually undermining the other person anyway.If we are the strongest we can be, we are more confident and overall better people to be around.If somebody you love is achieving all they want in life wouldn’t be happy for them?Would they not be more interesting to be around.
We are guilty of letting our own limited thinking interfere in other peoples dream.We do not do this on purpose it is a subconscious reaction when somebody you think you know says ,I would like to learn to fly, and you say, you can not do that, it is an automatic reaction to their desire because have not heard them express an interest before and you know that you would be afraid to learn to fly. This is an example of dependency and is the one of the major contributors to breakdown in relationships be they marriage or friendship.
During the collapse of the Irish economy we have spent all the time blaming all around us.We can not accept where we are,how we got there and the fact that our own inaction over the previous years contributed to the downfall.This dependency is so ingrained in us as a people that I have gotten some very irate reaction to my comments when I express them in public.This reaction is usually aggressive and shows how much we fear that we might have to take responsibility for ourselves.This is natural as the change needed will not be easy as I am asking people to fly without a net.The net been the blame culture and the dependency I have mentioned.
Interdependency would help all people to feel that they have had control of their own destiny and when things go wrong they would not feel as helpless.Because they are more confident in themselves and have the tools to deal with failure a major meltdown like the last year, would not have the same effect.It would be seen for what it is a blip in a very long journey in life.